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Literature Text
129,600
i can't quite count that
many seconds on my just my thumbs. maybe if i did (2√129,600) i'd reach you
through numbers.
because my algebra teacher last year told me i was finally
starting to understand the concept of losing through numbers, a negative one-million-thousand
inside my heart. (that's -100,000,000,000,000,000; or something.)
because hell was a place on earth for a long while, and i just cried at the sight of piling numbers
(1, 2, 3....134 days, i counted, until he finally left my heart completely. that's around 11 million seconds.)
and was 11 million seconds worth it? no. because
there is "always someone around the corner"- and i think we collided head-first when i finally stopped
staring at the empty roads and decided to actually turn the corner- and boy am i glad i only have to count (129,600√11000000= ...) times less to reach you.
and maybe my equation will be solved this time, or left solved by my own choice.
and even though one-hundred twenty-nine thousand six-hundered seconds stand between us, i'm
damn willing to count.
(1... 2... 3...)
i can't quite count that
many seconds on my just my thumbs. maybe if i did (2√129,600) i'd reach you
through numbers.
because my algebra teacher last year told me i was finally
starting to understand the concept of losing through numbers, a negative one-million-thousand
inside my heart. (that's -100,000,000,000,000,000; or something.)
because hell was a place on earth for a long while, and i just cried at the sight of piling numbers
(1, 2, 3....134 days, i counted, until he finally left my heart completely. that's around 11 million seconds.)
and was 11 million seconds worth it? no. because
there is "always someone around the corner"- and i think we collided head-first when i finally stopped
staring at the empty roads and decided to actually turn the corner- and boy am i glad i only have to count (129,600√11000000= ...) times less to reach you.
and maybe my equation will be solved this time, or left solved by my own choice.
and even though one-hundred twenty-nine thousand six-hundered seconds stand between us, i'm
damn willing to count.
(1... 2... 3...)
Literature
faded smiles and lost hopes
she's never alone but
you cannot taste loneliness.
and (she dissolves)
she'll smile sadly when you name her atlas,
because you forgot she carries suffering not hope.
(you forgot everything she had to give up,
you forgot to shoulder some of the weight,
youforgot,youforgot,youforgot,youforgot).
[repeat it, repeat it, repeat it and
listen to her bones crack.]
you cannot claim something you never had;
she held everyone but
no one
held
her.
[she's slipping through your fingers.]
take her gently by the wrist,
but it is too late.
(she shatters at the lightest touch).
Literature
twenty / something
growing up means :
bird metaphors are becoming trite / i must no longer write
about leaving the nest but decide where i can find a place to build.
like this we all pay our rents. i think about Franklin and his taxes
/ skull collector / his eventual place in the dirt / a nest of paper : currency
of misappropriated quotes.
i return home / find my poster of Che folded into tablecloth /
critical theory textbooks mothballed into the ivory of closet.
/ by home : i mean nest / or conjugal remembrance.
when i dream anymore, it’s about equity / fringe benefi
Literature
Tinderbox
I left my deconstructed self
in tidy piles on your still-warm bed sheets,
not a bone out of place;
every piece of me sorted and stamped
so at least you’d see
what you were getting yourself into.
You gave me your fingernails;
the stardust beneath them
leaving gritty, sparkling trails on my palms
that made my hands tingle:
half panic, half desire.
I sometimes wondered how we’d fit together;
both of us quiet and awkward and luminous,
collecting kindling like belly button lint
in all our empty spaces,
just waiting to start ourselves on fire.
I hope you find a safe place to shine.
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full title "one-hundred twenty-nine thousand six hundred seconds to you"
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Comments9
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This is really lovely. It reminds me of Rent, too. That beginning song they all sing? Are you familiar?